THE LEADERSHIP LENS Newsletter <download pdf>
December 2006, © Mark Sincevich, Staash Press, LLC
A monthly resource providing insight, opinion and practical information on creativity, life balance, personal leadership & perspective

The ONE Thing

I slipped on my comfortable navy blue Crocks and walked extremely fast to our neighbor's home to pick up my son. Even though it was a bit after 5:30PM, darkness had completely fallen across the area. I brought a special treat for my son, a piece of candied ginger. His face lit up like a beacon when he saw this spicy treasure. When I asked Ian what he wanted to do for dinner he said, "Go with Daddy to get some sushi." This nascent father and son ritual started a few weeks ago when Ian had asked me what I did that particular day. I told him, "Daddy had a speaking job and then got some sushi for lunch." He immediately said, "I want to get some sushi," the 'ssses' in both some and sushi commingling into a single three-year old word.

I pointed out a new Japanese restaurant last night and he said, "not that one." He wanted to go to the restaurant where we went the first time. I said, "It's nice to try different restaurants and besides this one has fish in a tank (not men in a bank)." My explanation sounding like the first page of a "Dr. Seuss" book. Ian said, "Let's go and see the fish in the tank!" The fish were a good distraction while we were waiting for our order. I have to give Ian credit; he ate two pieces of California Roll (cooked crab and avocado). As I was eating a piece of sushi, Ian used his child-friendly chopsticks and picked up what he said was a piece of avocado. He put a small dollop of wasabi into his mouth instead of avocado and immediately got this petrified look on his face. His lower jaw dropped open while his lips snapped tightly shut; his whole body shook while his eyes watered for a few seconds. I wore the mixed emotions of horror and humor, not quite sure what to do. Ian then grabbed his plastic water cup and literally sucked down the entire contents through the straw. He looked up at me, paused for a moment, and said, "Spicy."

When I told my wife about our experience, she was laughing out loud.   She asked Ian if he wanted to go with Daddy again to get sushi sometime and he said, "Uh ha!" My wife commented that this is becoming our one thing or as I said earlier, our ritual. Having one main thing on which to focus when we eat will help my three-year old to remember key moments of his childhood. We also have a one-workout thing when we exercise.   I strap him into the copilot seat on the back of my mountain bike and zoom down the Capital Crescent Trail to Georgetown while Ian yells, "Faster Daddy, Faster." According to Masaru Emoto, the author of "The True Power of Water," everything has a unique vibration or that one thing that resonates with somebody else. He said, "Our mind and body are affected by this depending on what intrinsic vibration we resonate with. In human relations, we often say we are or we are not on the same wavelength with someone."  

When I work with executives to improve their communication power, my challenge is to find that one thing that resonates with them. Why do I want to pick one thing? I can and do give executives a small shopping list of major and minor items that they do well and others that need improvement through multiple speaking rehearsals. However, I say that they ought to start with this one thing first. Giving too many solutions at one time will paralyze progress. Recently I worked with six different executives and gave them each of them one thing upon which they could improve such as, relax, appearance, presence, personal stories, pause for power and weave key messages.

Relax - work out before you speak, practice deep breathing or even get a massage. Relaxing will slow down the pace of your presentation and allow you to work in more of a quality message.

Appearance - when your match your outward appearance (keeping in mind the theme) with how you feel inside, you are more congruent and will have more communication power.  

Presence - having more presence through the proper use of body language might mean being conscious of where you are standing. Being closer to the audience communicates more passion.   It is being aware of what you are doing and its meaning.   

Personal Stories - signature stories that characterize a speaker will get you remembered. Try coming up with 2-3 signature stories, which take anywhere from 30 seconds to 3 minutes. For added power, tie your personal stories to the key messages.

Pause for Power - using the um's and other 'filler' words takes away from communication effectiveness. Replace the filler words with silence. When you pause for power, you will be perceived as more confident and subsequently more effective.  

Weave Key Messages - take your key themes and weave them through your presentation and then through each section. Remember take your theme, tie it to a story or a point and then tell the audience why it is important to them.  

Picking one item from above and really showing improvement will help to increase your communication power. It's going to be much easier to pick one than to try all six at the same time. Plus you will see results in one area more quickly and this will give you the necessary motivation to continue to improve on your speaking. Warning, you will need to try different sushi restaurants to determine their degree of spiciness.

About Mark Sincevich
Mark Sincevich works with organizations to develop leaders with more focus and creativity. He uses a unique photography angle in his speaking programs and writing. As a result of Mark's work, his customers gain a fresh perspective, generate new ideas, sharpen the focus and create more business. Mark is the chief perspective officer of his organization, Leading with Focus, the founder of Staash Press, a member of the National Speakers Association and the executive director of the Digital Photography Institute. He is frequently quoted in the media and the author of three books including, "The Leadership Lens." In between assignments, Mark can be found spending time with his family in the Washington, DC area or writing in cafés with character. He can be contacted at 301-654-3010 or www.leadingwithfocus.com .  

Order Mark's Latest Book, The Leadership Lens - key lessons from behind the camera about leading in an uncertain future, immediately available at www.staashpress.com/llens.html .