THE LEADERSHIP LENS Newsletter <download pdf>
December 2007, © Mark Sincevich, Staash Press, LLC
A monthly resource providing insight, opinion and practical information on creativity, life balance & powerful communications

Disconnect to Reconnect (The Return of Dr. M)

Beetlenut Coffee Shop, Tisbury, Martha's Vineyard,
(c) Mark Sincevich

I shuffled into bed late last night with the right side of my body in considerable pain. My neck felt like it had taken one too many impacts from my head hitting the open rear door of our SUV. I swear that door ought to be higher! Also, there was a knot under my right shoulder blade the size of a large Florida orange. To make matters worse, my toes were numb from both a non-existent layer of insulation under the hardwood of the first floor and summer weight socks. Over the last several weeks, I have been hard at work upgrading my website. Please see http://www.LeadingWithFocus.com . This upgrade has involved a lot of typing, mouse clicking and using the touchpad on my computer laptop. Even with ergonomic design, I was clicked out. My wife suggested I check out the local health spa and get a massage.

I had gotten back into a monthly massage habit for the first part of this year and a good part of last year. This routine was thrown off by the arrival of my second son, and an overly zealous massage therapist who had tried unsuccessfully to separate my muscle tissue from the fascia. This procedure took deep tissue massage to a new level of agony and teeth grinding. With my body now contorted from the computer work, I decided it was high time to get another massage. Driving to the appointment, I remembered back to my computer industry tenure; I had also gotten a massage about once a month for several years. At this time 'Doctor' M for massage showed up regularly on my calendar. I wouldn't have gone if I didn't make it as important as going to a regular doctor.

I was excited for this massage and ran up the stairs to the spa services waiting area. I could feel my heart pounding. As I waited on a comfortable lounge chair next to some candles, I practiced deep breathing exercises and tried to slow my heart rate. I wanted to begin the session relaxed instead of 'rushing from one activity to the next.' The benefits of massage are many including enhanced immunity, reduced pain (except in my earlier example), improved range of motion and lessened depression and anxiety. I had forgotten how wonderful massage could be as I relaxed into the caring treatment and the welcome peace and quiet. During the session, I had to stop myself from thinking about the session ending too soon; instead I focused on enjoying the moment and looked forward to eating a nutritious salad at the Whole Foods Market down the block afterwards.  

Later at the salad bar, I wore a smile on my face, felt more in touch with myself and was certainly moving at a slower pace. Since I have a family, it isn't always possible to get a massage after work or on the weekends, so it was extremely beneficial and necessary to step away from my work for this half-day and take care of myself. As I found a stool near the big picture window at the Whole Foods in Georgetown, I noticed an older businesswoman to my right. She was eating her lunch and talking to numerous people on the phone with the help of her small wireless Bluetooth hands-free headset. It's a good thing I saw the earpiece partially covering her left ear as she could have been mistaken for a schizophrenic patient out on an unauthorized lunch break. She shoveled in one fork of food after another in between comments.  

A few minutes later, a young man sat down on the stool to my left with a heavy red backpack probably filled with textbooks. He was dressed in blue jeans and a hooded sweatshirt and looked to be in college. He ate his lunch while connected to white earphones, the wires disappearing into an inner pocket. He stared expressionless out of the window as he ate his food. I wondered if he even liked his meal or knew what he was eating at any particular moment. Is this cell phone and earphone behavior what poet and author David Whyte meant when he said, " ... to illustrate the desperate need to be busy and remain undisturbed by a larger horizon of human endeavor for which we might feel inadequate?" Where my lunch neighbors afraid to disconnect from their node on the technological network, because they had forgotten what it felt like to be alone with their own thoughts for a period of time?  

Another reason why I take pleasure in massage is that it teaches me to be comfortable with my own thoughts. The space given for the appointment allows for this to happen. Luckily there are no electronic devices permitted either! This technology-free time is much like the feeling I get when I use a Perspective Pad. What is a Perspective Pad? The tripod that supports your Leading with Focus has a hook under the center column. This hook is typically used by a camera bag or heavy weight to prevent the tripod from blowing over in a strong wind. I call this weight a Perspective Pad. When you compare the entries in your Perspective Pad to what you want to accomplish in your life, you will also add more weight or meaning to your leadership, your work and your personal life. I slowly ate and enjoyed my food as I jotted down how best to spend my time before the holiday. Are you too busy checking e-mail, talking on the cell phone or surfing the Internet to turn to the person sitting on the stool next to you and strike up a conversation? Have you forgotten how to get in touch with yourself through writing by hand? It's time you carved out the space for a Dr. M appointment in your calendar! One of the best locations for writing is in a coffee shop near you.

As human beings we are a society of storytellers, and each of us has an inherent desire to be heard and understood. This desire is fueling the popularity of sites like YouTube and MySpace. However, as our society becomes more dependent upon technology, it is our thoughts, hopes and aspirations that have become buried beneath the latest keystroke and operating system upgrade. The more people reach out with technology, the more the connection to our fellow human beings becomes elusive. What is needed is simplicity, the simple conversation that has been at the heart of human interaction for tens of thousands of years. Caution, as you strengthen the connection to yourself, your need to connect through technology will diminish.

About Mark Sincevich
Mark Sincevich works with organizations to develop leaders with more focus and creativity. He uses a unique photography angle in his speaking programs and writing. As a result of Mark's work, his customers gain a fresh perspective, generate new ideas, sharpen the focus and create more business. Mark is the chief perspective officer of his organization, Leading with Focus, the founder of Staash Press, and the executive director of the Digital Photography Institute. He is frequently quoted in the media and the author of three books including, "The Leadership Lens." In between assignments, Mark can be found spending time with his family in the Washington, DC area or writing in cafés with character. He can be contacted at 301-654-3010 or www.leadingwithfocus.com .  

Order Mark's Latest Book, The Leadership Lens - key lessons from behind the camera about leading in an uncertain future, immediately available at www.staashpress.com/llens.html .